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Old 03-06-2009, 11:40 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 3
Default Help!-wives of alcoholics

Hello, I am 35 years old and have 3 children. My husband, whom I have
been with for 18 years is an alcoholic and refuses to get any help. He
claims to be a christian, and will attend church with the children and I
on occasion. My children 2,8, and 10 are getting to the age that I fear
they will know soon. He comes home drunk most nights of the week and
is around the children. He is not falling down but is very hard to
communicate with. He has been warned about his job by his boss a few
months ago that if he drinks while on call he looses his job. He of course
still drinks when on call because he's on call for 7 days straight and he
cannot go more than 2 days without it. He has been drinking and driving
all these years and has never wrecked or got a DUI. It is bound to happen
sooner or later. He can be extremely mean,mostly to me and sometime,
but rarely to our son. The other two are girls, which he has hardly ever
been mean to. He is extremely difficult to get along with. We cannot
go on vacation or spend a day together without major chaos because
he can get so edgy and mean. I need help from someone who understands!
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thereishope (03-07-2009)
Old 03-07-2009, 01:28 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Utah
Posts: 5,413

Hello rosepetal,
Its nice to meet you.
So very glad you are here and reaching out for help.
I know this may be hard to hear but in all truth it will not change unless he sees his need for help and begins getting it for himself. Im now divorced and we did use together but i needed the most help with my using. I was a massive wreck and i caused wreckage all around me to my marrage and my children and i did not even realize the full extent of my destruction untill i began recovery and it was heartbreaking when it smacked me up side the face full force. I knew i wasnt doing very nice things but i did not understand the gravity of it untill my head was out of the fog.
For you it would be a really good idea to go to al-anon.......its a group for family members of alcholics and its a support system to help you. There will be others there that know exactly what you are going through and it really helps to have the support.
Also you can talk with your pastor at church too.
My heart goes out to you and please keep on coming back ok.
Let us know how its goin or to just come and chat....we are all here for you and we all need each other...NO ONE can do this alone.
2 corinthians 1:3-4

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

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Old 03-09-2009, 04:08 PM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 28,084

rosepetal! Sorry to hear about your situation with your husband. As thereishope said there is Alanon that you can check out for you. Please do come back and continue to share with us also. We are here for you.
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Old 04-08-2009, 03:35 PM   #4
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 2

Hi! I understand but alas, have no help to offer. I am in the same situation except my children do know what is going on (13,16,21). I feel helpless too! If you have recieved any words of wisdom, please share!
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Old 06-16-2009, 03:19 AM   #5
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 5
Hug I'm there too!

Hi, I know what your going through, I'm there too! I just attended my first Al-anon meeting on Thursday and it was amazing! Of course I broke down a cried through the whole thing but it was great to be with people who knew exactly what I am going through and they gave some great advice.
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