problems with AA meetings & members

[wbmscm]

:confused:A quick re-into and then I'll share my thoughts. Wendy, alcoholic, sober since 3/27/88, didn't become a christian until 15/16 years sober (haha, funny story).

I'm getting sick of hearing that you can't stay sober unless you go to meetings. I don't believe that. I've always gone to meetings and I've always heard that and it's always bothered me. If meetings kept us sober why do people who are going to meetings get drunk and how can some people not go to meetings and stay sober (I know a few). And when does God come in. But most important, Why am I concerned and upset about this. I'm wondering if deep inside I don't want to go to meetings anymore and I'm trying to find a way to get out of it. I've always loved going to meetings, but in the past few years (maybe since I've been a christian) I don't like it. I get tired of what I hear in meetings. I hear a lot of treatment stuff and how to "fix YOURself" and hardly hear anything about God. And I really don't have anyone that I feel like I can talk to, which is also unusal for me, either they're not christian or have more of a treatment view of recovery rather than the grassroots AA I got sober on. That's one reason why I am posting here.

[Stanleigh12]

I to share a similar viewpoint as AA has never appeared to be "real" to me. I am not discounting the effectiveness of it for some people; however, the real need is for me to have a support group that focuses on God.

[admin]

For me the solution I found in AA through the Big Book and the 12 and 12 was and is God. Our total reliance is to be on Him - no one or no thing else. It states this on page 164 in the Big Book:

Still you may say: "But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book." We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.

Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

I haven't been to a face to face meeting in a few years for my own personal reasons. I am still sober and clean today with the help of God, online recovery and friends and family. We should keep an open mind. For those who state that you can only stay sober by going to meetings, we pray for them.

I do encourage newcomers to online recovery sites that I go to to attend meetings. They along with God helped me to get where I am at today.

[Created]

I can totally relate to what you're feeling, as I experienced some very similar feelings about meetings and I no longer attend them. All I can say is to trust and ask God to show you what it is you are trying to work through right now. It truly is a personal issue that should be worked out with careful discernment. He knows what's best for all of us and He is the one that abundently sustains and gives us the strength and power to stay sober.

[sunnyflo14]

after 12 years of seperation from a drink, my thinking can still get "off", I surely know that God is not done with me yet, and for that I am actually grateful. I was initially sent to AA by my catholic priest as a result of confession, clearly looked at it as punishment! only now after some much more rational thinking,can I see how I have been saved by Gods Grace, from a life of self sabotague and destruction. I did not initial feel worthy, nor was a I willing to look honestly at myself, nor honestly do "the work". It has however been MY journey, and I do believe that all are steps are ordered by God, he knows what we each need, and no two of us are exactly the same, therefore, noones experiences will be the same either. AA is a God given program, a gift to me, and for me, I need the support more now than ever, to keep it green, because I still have the ISM, I am not cured, but only have a daily reprieve. I do not like when people quote the big book at me to criticize me, and ironically, last nite I shared at my homegroup, how close I came to drinking.....in anger, a beer I found in my 15 year olds room... and how I asked God for help, and received it, feeling I was again saved and feeling grateful as well as emotional. It has been difficult watching my son struggle and I have been guilty of trying to play God in his life, and I still work on my trust issues... for me today how I feel towards this particular member that did not show me any compassion... but instead told me I still have an alcoholic mind.... and "I should be free", I was lucky to have other members there to give me the love and support I needed, after all, isn't AA the place to go where you are to get honest, and share those thoughts that involve alcohol! This really is about me, not the other member, its about me not buying into my old tape that I am wrong... or bad, or less than.... God is great, and I am alive and well and strengthened today because HE does put members in my path, who have their own personal journeys too... I just have to keep the focus on me! and thanks so much I really needed to share that this morning! Linda G :85:

[ben23]

"our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God andthe people about us" bb p77- I can't go to meetings to see what I can "get out" of them. If I am sober it is my job to see what I can contribute. Like it says in the story Acceptance was the Answer(formerly Dr. Alcoholic, Addict in the 3rd edition) If I focus on whats wrong with a meeting, it gets worse. If I focus on what I can bring to the meeting (speaking to the guy who looks lost, pouring coffee, hhelping out, it gets better. AA doesn't save souls, it saves lives. Most of the people I worship with, can't relate to the addicted part of me. If I try to share with them, it just scares them. I need the fellowship of people who know what I am. Many of them are or are becoming Christians. I can't expect other people to adhere to my code of behavior. My job is to live in such a way that it will be obvious what I believe. If someone is interested in that, then I can share my faith with them. Keep coming back!!!

As far as the treatment stuff is concerned, carry your BB and 12x12 with you to meetings and set the example for oters by sharing your experience strength and hope as it pertains to the solution(God) and not the problem(me)

[fire4Him]

:idea: AA meetings can be a good place to show the love of Jesus to others. As a Christian, others will see in you something different.
Also, sometimes you run into other believers! No, you don't go aroung preaching.
But you show the love He has placed in your heart, and reach out to those who are hurting............God can use you anywhere

[Gray Hair]

Have any of you tried Celebrate Recovery?
http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

I was on the leadership team that started it in our church Sept 2000.
http://www.bramaleabaptist.org/cr/

It is a Christ-centered 12 Step program. We just don't mention a higher power but identify who our higher power is.

Small Group Interaction:

A Celebrate Recovery Leader facilitates an open share time within the small group context. Guidelines are enforced to ensure "safety" and confidentiality. We open the door to our recovery by sharing our experiences, strength and hope with one another. We learn to take hold of the freedom Christ has paid for. Healing takes place in the context of Christian community through a time of sharing.